My Dad--Father's Day 2014

It's Father's Day and thought it fitting that I spend part of my day remembering the wonderful man that was/is my father. Dad passed away April 10, 1993.

My Dad's whole life was dedicated to his family. He gave up dreams to support and nurture us while we were growing up. I think most of us kids in the family took that for granted--I know I did. It took me years to realize how lucky I was to have a Father who cared for us. It wasn't until I looked around at some of the people that I've met and hear stories of their childhood to realize that my Father and Mother were probably the closest to being perfect parents.

I will have to say that Dad wasn't always the most affectionate man in the world. He was raised in a time that the man of the family put food on the table and made sure that his family was provided for, with not many outward displays of affection. I'm not saying that there weren't the occasional moments when he laughed with us, played baseball with us, made jokes and, yes, even hugged us. But for the longest time, I think he equated caring and providing for his family as affection.

To be honest, there were times when Dad seemed to me to be distant and detached after he retired. He would sit in his chair and read, watch tv, and kind of observe what everyone was doing. It turned out that the fault wasn't entirely his for the detachment. Mom took each of us aside and told us that we needed to sit with Dad and talk to him. She said it didn't matter what we talked about, she said he needed to feel a bigger part of his kids' lives as he grew older. She also told us to start hugging him when we arrived and hugging him when we left. She knew it was going to be uncomfortable on both sides, but she thought it was something that needed to be done.

So, I followed Mom's instructions. The day of her talk, after sitting with Dad for awhile watching television and making small talk, I said goodbye to both of them, hugged Mom and then leaned over to hug Dad in his chair. I could feel him tense up when I hugged him and, I will have to admit, I felt very awkward and a little tense myself. After awhile, it became less and less awkward. I remember a year or so before he died that I went to say goodbye to him and I put my arms around him and he put his arms around me and instead of the quick hug, he held me in his arms and said, "I love you, son."

I regret not reaching that point in our lives sooner so that we could've had that connection. I thank God that I had a few years to tell my Dad in words that I loved him and to hear him say it back with conviction and to be held by him.

Just wanted to say Happy Father's Day to my wonderful, loving Dad. I love you, Dad and miss you every day. Sending a warm hug your way.